Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
When are your genitals available?
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
