so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
