Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
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