If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
