i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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