I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
My breasts were aching with rage.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
