But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
