I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
