I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
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