Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
