It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Randomize
