I cockslap morals
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
My vagina is very pro this idea
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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