Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
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