Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
