Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Randomize
