He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Randomize
