If i come over, it means nothing
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize