Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
