New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
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