Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
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