I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
