After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
