four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Randomize
