just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
