i always forget guys have bellybuttons
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Randomize
