I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
