with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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