is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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