Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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