somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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