oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
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