My hair reeks of homosexuality.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Randomize
