remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
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