you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
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