I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
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