guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Randomize
