You're completely useless in the revolution.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
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