My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
