I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
