Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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