My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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