Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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