Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Randomize
