dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Randomize