Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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