sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
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