the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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