We named our party play list daddy issues
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
