im gay
i know
yea but for you.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
