it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
