drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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