Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
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