"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
