if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
