Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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