We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
