when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize