I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
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