i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
