i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
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