Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
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