Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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