do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Randomize
