i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
