He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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