my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
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