I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
