I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
We named our party play list daddy issues
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
