my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Why are your pants in the freezer?
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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