so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Randomize
