Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
