You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Randomize
