its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
